This is a crazy question about pregnancy but i have to ask..?

I know im not alone with this one. If you have ever had a miscarriage then getting pregnant is a VERVOUS and exciting time. I am currently 6 weeks now, i have previosuly had 2 miscarriages before so i am very nervous and im babying myself to death. However im afraid to go to the dr. for my first check up. I dont want them to do the pelvic exam because im afraid it will hurt me. Also i dont want to see spotting, it will freak me out. I have been red free since my BFP, i am so afraid, i feel like nothing should go in there til im at my safety mark. I know i have to do it but im just freaking terrified. Has anyone else ever felt that way??