THIS IS MY COLLEGE ESSAY, IS IT READY TO BE SENT TO COLLEGES?

All other issues aside, a lot of people that apply to college are smart. Smart is not in short supply. This question seems to be about character. They want to know that you can overcome challenges and that you can make good decisions. Just as important as talent is strength of character. Are you going to flunk out the first time things get tough? What you have written makes you come across as someone that just expects to succeed at everything purely by natural talent. I really don't think this is going to appeal to colleges.