Ways to gain closure ?

Maybe it's best that you do write a letter for closure. If it does open the gates for more distress, that's OK too. You are helping your family by allowing them to vent. If there is a NEED for closure, that means there is more that needs to be communicated. Don't let feelings stay inside. Open up a forum with your family and let everyone talk. Why don't you all do this together at the same time. You should take over the family conference and lead it.